Once I got married to the man I loved, there is this one thought that always crossed my mind. I never told anyone . . . But time and again my ways with in law’s and also with my husband in various occasions made me feel that every man in this world must have a daughter . Well, a daughter, to understand what it means to be a father of daughter , what it means to have daughter whom you have nurtured all your life and one day. . . .a daughter to understand perhaps what another dad feels like!!
Father daughter relationship is unique . To me my dad was always someone who could do no wrong . I would typically reach out to him on anything that I found difficult to handle. And after I got married, my first jolt came when I had to seek permission to meet him. Why I at all need that. . . . I asked myself again and again and again as I couldn’t muster the courage to ask anyone else. I will have to visit my in law’s first and not my parents . . . . Why? Why I call them every day needed an explanation . . . . And I always thought why such questions are brewing up. . . . And for what ? ?
And, from there I was convinced beyond doubt that every man must be a father of a daughter to understand his wife and then may be his daughter in law. My own experience says that. And now, when I have a daughter , I probably have the last laugh . I see a changed man, an intense and dotting dad. I see the difference in attitude of my husband and quip quite often. . . . “now you know how my parents felt time and again? ” I often ask now, ” Will you be able to take if your daughter is mistreated , scream at, ridiculed, abused and what not. . . .” Even though I have been lucky so far but not everyone is and women always have struggled beyond words . .
The unconditional cuddles, the love and affection, the possessive and protective dad, a dad who can’t bear a single drop of tear, a dad who can kill anyone for his daughter’s safety , a dad who works like a dog to ensure that his daughter gets the best and the list is endless. Just imagine when he will need to think twice before meeting his daughter , when he will have to keep quite so that the daughter is safe and happy , when he becomes secondary in her life. . . . it becomes a silent and agonizing pain from both the ends and gets hidden and buried under the garb of societal norms… Sad ! !
To me love can wait, but not respect and dignity. I always find people confusing these very essential needs of any relationship, especially in a marriage. Men, in most cases fail to understand that it takes a lot of courage on the part of the girl to leave everything and embrace her husband and his family . So if she isn’t treated well, it is utmost cruelty in every sense . And, all this can be managed if the man understands the feelings of his wife, which again is a rarity and most of the time is taken for granted . Well, I feel with a daughter, may be sanity will prevail and men will understand both sides of the story in a much better and brighter light.
Well, certainly not always everything improves if a man is blessed with a daughter . We do have horrendous tales of fatherhood too. But, by and large I feel a man changes a lot with daughter in toe. The little girl becomes ‘papa ki ladli’ in more ways than one. And, I very strongly feel that this is the precise reason if a man has a daughter, may be the daughter in laws in future and wives most importantly, will be treated well and respected much much more. I hope my belief is vindicated on a larger note . . . . Amen ! !
This blog was originally submitted by the author at mycity4kids.com