What It Takes To Stand Against Your Own People ?


What it takes to stand against your own people? Well, undoubtedly, it takes a whole lot of conviction and guts ! May it be our parents, uncles, aunts, siblings, husband and for that matter even children, standing against their wish, their action or their point of view is quite a task in hand. But, one can’t deny the fact most of us encounter situations at some point in our lives that bring us to a brink, where we are quite literally fighting against our own people. It is never a happy feeling, and is rather painful. But, how we deal it, is the crux of the story.

Few days back I across an article in TOI, which reports that the daughter of an high profile bureaucrat blames her father for molesting her repeatedly. I will refrain from taking any names and sensationalizing the issue here. However, this one piece made me feel  nauseating. Father? The piece has bites from the girl on how she has battled this abuse all her life and finally decided to speak about it once her parents parted away…her mother joins in too and narrates why she maintained silence. Well, this is extreme !! But such incidents happen, and happen around us pretty much in view. Few days back, I read a blog by a fellow blogger about how her friend’s own father have being abusing his grand daughter… Obnoxious and horrid, I say !! And, if you go through the daily mills of the news line, there are plenty of incidents where offenders are someone very known and very very own…. !!

It is not necessary that we stand against our people only when there is a sexual abuse, though. There are several other issues that propel us to voice our resentment over something- Difference of opinion is one of the glaring ones! “I don’t agree with you”, “I think you are wrong”, “I don’t agree with your actions”, “I don’t like what you have done or may be what you are doing”, “ please don’t do this again”, “don’t shout at me or spank me”,”What you say is unacceptable,” and perhaps many more such words and phrases.

Now, when the matters are trivial, it is rather easy to voice your stance. But, in cases when there is relationship and family prestige at stake, in such a situation taking a call is definitely an arduous task. Honestly, I don’t know possibly how one should go about it !! But, I do feel this very strongly, that one should stand against any wrong doing in and around his/her periphery, no matter what. Is it not that, not speaking up is actually suppressing the truth, encouraging the wrong doings, and worse, and perhaps paving way for more and more crimes around us ?

On a personal note, I try to stand up against people who I feel aren’t doing the right thing, and teach and allow my kids to do the same. But, I can’t deny the fact that I chose to keep mum a few times where I should have spoken loud and clear.  I regret that beyond words. A whole lot of things around me diminished my faith, and I ended up being a victim or a spectator. Again, the fear of losing so called crucial relationships in life, the fear of being snubbed, and the intimidation of the repercussions, snapped my strength and conviction. Trust me, I regret it even now.

Standing against your own people for the right, needs unflinching guts, to say the least. I would never allow my children to suppress their feelings like the way I did. May be the era I was born, being vocal about certain things and especially against elders was against the very code of good conduct and our moral high grounds. Crap !! Holy Crap !! But then, I, now realize and always feel that putting up things in the right way, at the right time and in the right perspective is important. No harm in weighing the pros and cons, but at the end of the day, don’t deny your heart. It is better to have a few sprinkles of heartbreak and despair, than regretting all your life and feel miserable. 

Well, if you haven’t encountered any such a situation, you are blessed and lucky. But, if you have, would love to hear what you all feel about it and how you dealt with- What is takes to stand against your own people…. !! Let’s hear it !

This blog was originally submitted by the author at mycity4kids.com