Being a mother of two, I always wonder what’s that one thing I can give to my kids that will have an everlasting impression all through their lives. There are many so to say, unconditional love, care, support, encouragement or a beautiful friendship perhaps. But, again I think, these are all feelings and emotions, which needs a certain amount of maturity to understand. There are several instances when my care comes out yelling. Hell yeah at times it happens ! But my kids only understand – ” oh mumma you just shout.” Likewise many other circumstances bring out a negative reaction even though the intentions are heartily positive. But yeh unko kaun samjhaye !! I end up reaching to square one thinking that nah…not this, perhaps something else that will serve as a perfect gift for my minions that will stay itched in their mind vividly, positively, fondly and lovingly ! My search was on until one day….
It was one of those meltdown days, when nothing was going right between me and my son. We were totally out of sync and he was all over me. By the time it was evening, I was left with little or perhaps no patience. The situation was grim, seriously !! Walks in the daddy dear… “Ah what’s cooking between mumma and Abhi”, and before I could utter a word, my son was rattling his list with spiced up rants against me. I was no less, and screamed, ” No you can’t add things Abhi, tell baba the truth.” My husband smirked and I was furious. Me and Abhi were at loggerheads… Bang !!
Surprising after sometime, to my utter surprise my son was normal. He smiled and said, friends mumma? “Yeah ofcourse”, I smiled and my motherly hormones started over working… How suddenly? My son adds then, ” mumma, you and baba love each other maximum….right ? Baba always explains that why you get upset at times and why you get worked up. He also tells me how much you love all of us, and care for us. Sometimes, you get tired and irritated. And, we all must understand that it’s your love and worry for us that comes out in anger and monster screams. At the end of the day it’s just love and care that comes out in various forms!!” I heard him dumbfound, and as I prepared to answer him, he adds, ” Aren’t these the exact things that you also tell me about baba, when he is angry and irritated, like best friends who support each other.”
I sat speechless for few seconds and then nodded and said, “yes.. I do, I love him a lot !! But, Abhi it’s not about loving more or less. I love you and Riya as much I love him. It is just that we understand and care for each other. Me and baba respect each other’s space and opinion. But, we fight too, but isn’t that whoever you love, you fight with too? Don’t you fight with us and your friends even though you love all of us?” Abhi nodded with a smile. And he continued, ” Mumma I love when you and baba are best friends, I don’t like when you fight.” Well, this was perhaps the moment of truth for me. I looked at him and thought, may be this is what is the best gift I, rather we can ever give our children that they will understand and relate to – Parents-in-Love !!
Children are sensitive and this is one aspect that needs a lot of attention when they are growing up. Our children learn from what we show them. Good or bad, everything gets absorbed collectively. Many a times, what might be trivial for us, might mean the world to them. Sometimes, what we ignore might get noticed by our kids with minute details. While all parents thrive to give kids the best, it cannot be denied that misses are also there in plenty. Well, from where I am standing now, every day opens up new challenges . But, my stance is clear, no matter what I want both my kids to have a clean and happy memories of childhood. If not anything else , let them grow up with this feeling that they were brought up and nurtured by individuals who were in love, who respected each other and stood by in thick and thin. Let them grow up with a sense of security and happiness. I very strongly believe love, care and compassion brings the best in every child. This is a wonderful concoction of emotions that every child needs. So, a loving environment and parents who love and enjoy mutual admiration for each other is an indispensable requisite to raise a happy child, and perhaps the best gift we can give our children. Agree ?